Posts Tagged 'robot'

Robot News

In robot news Panasonic has developed an assistant to wash your hair. Designed for the elderly the robot will wash one’s hair in the comfort of their own home. The robot will help relieve the duties of home care workers as the population continues to age. The 16 fingered robotic fingers massage the scalp, washes, rinses, all with similar dexterity of that of human hands. Don’t expect it to come cheap. Maintenance will probably be expensive too. I bet if you fall behind in your payments an “update” will convert the machine into a collections robot will possible kill features. I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.

Robots in the home not enough for you? How robots that entertain us through sport? We already have robot wars thanks to engineers with too much time on their hands, how about robot soccer? In Australia they’ve been working on making robots to play football. Programmed to be autonomous the professor there boasts that by the year 2050 the robots will be better than human players. I’m all for it. So long as this eliminates hand balls, fake injuries, and ultimately leads to more goals. Soccer needs more goals. Way too boring to watch a 1-0 game. Get to it robots!

Robot Sexy Time!

Is the regular love doll not doing it for you? Well get ready for Roxxxy (video) the sex robot! Hi-five! Sexy time! And you thought Real Dolls were creepy. Now, I know what you’re wondering, what’s so special, besides the $7,000 price tag. It/she comes with a laptop that is programmed with it’s/her personality. I’m guessing built in microphone and speakers to respond to voice commands. Wow, just wow. Who spends this much time building something like this? But more importantly who’s going to buy this sexbot? Rich bastards no doubt.

I, for one, welcome out new robot overlords

Should it be any surprise that this is happening? Little did we know that the movie Terminator was light years ahead of it’s time AND was predicting out bleak future. Self reliant robots with advanced artificial intelligence will probably spell the end of humankind. Making killing machines which do not question orders or morality is 1 step closer to our fictional demise. Does anyone else think this is crazy talk?

Military working on nanobots to swarm the enemy

BAE Systems will lead a team of scientists that will develop miniature robots to improve military situational awareness. The company signed a $38 million agreement with the U.S. Army Research Laboratory to lead an alliance of researchers and scientists from the Army, academia and industry.

The Micro Autonomous Systems and Technology (MAST) Collaborative Technology Alliance will research and develop advanced robotic equipment for use in urban environments and complex terrain, such as mountains and caves. The alliance will create an autonomous, multifunctional collection of miniature intelligence-gathering robots that can operate in places too inaccessible or dangerous for humans.

“Robotic platforms extend the warfighter’s senses and reach, providing operational capabilities that would otherwise be costly, impossible, or deadly to achieve,” said Dr. Joseph Mait, MAST cooperative agreement manager for the Army Research Laboratory. “The MAST alliance is a highly collaborative effort, with each partner from government, academia, and industry playing a significant role.” (link)

Robot total body massage

Remember those massage pants? Um, now there’s a total body massage version. Slutty asian model not included. Why stop kidding ourselves? Break out to robot sex slaves already!

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